I have sat down to write this post several times. However, I could not commit to finishing it. The words were there but so were the emotions.
When I requested Sheryl Sandberg’s book from the library it was because of its popularity not because of the story behind it. Truthfully, I only knew her as the Facebook lady.
This book sucked me in and I am sure as I was reading it I was nodding my head in agreement. If you don’t know, Sheryl Sandberg is COO at Facebook and tragically lost her husband while they were on a beach vacation. In her book, Option B, she writes about that trip and all that happened after his death. While our situations are very different, her feelings and emotions are not. She put into words what I have felt so many times. Even though I don’t know her, she made me feel like it was ok to not to be ok, to still hurt all these years later.
One of my favorite lines from the book is when she quotes Playwright Robert Woodruff “ Death ends a life, but it doesn’t end a relationship”. I never really thought about it in this way. I think I read this line at least 50 times. I am still my father’s daughter, that will never change. I found this so comforting.
Losing a loved one just sucks. There are no other words that sum it up better, at least in my opinion. Everyone experiences it differently and there isn’t a right way to grieve. You can be surrounded by people that love and care for you and are ready to dry your tears but still feel completely alone. Unfortunately, when you lose someone you join this club, a club you don’t want to be in but you can relate to others in the club- more than you can relate to some of your closest loved ones sometimes.
I am not saying that those not “in the club” are unimportant. I am saying that sometimes you feel like you need to be ok for them, which is exhausting. You are fighting two battles, the one inside you that just needs to be sad and the one that needs to put on the brave face. Reading Sheryl’s book was like talking to an old friend who just gets it.
No matter if you have suffered a loss or not, I highly recommend this book. It is a comfort to those that have experienced a loss but it can also be a useful tool for anyone that might have a friend or family member that has experienced a loss.
Like I said, it’s nice when someone just gets it.