music to my ears

Music has never been a big thing in my life. Yes, I listen to the radio in the car and play music when I run, but I didn’t go to my first concert till I was in my mid twenties. Part of it might be that my hearing is not that great so I sometimes had no clue what songs were about and when you can’t hear going to a loud place just isn’t fun. However, this summer I had two songs that I heard that just spoke to me. They really made me listen. It felt like the person was singing about thoughts that I had in my own head that I never voiced.

The first was Photograph by Ed Sheeran in my post called Pictures .  The second was the song Locked Away by R. City featuring Adam Levine. As I was flipping through radio stations I stopped just as these words were being sung:
If I showed you my flaws
If I couldn’t be strong
Tell me honestly…
Would you still love me the same?

Can I tell you that it was like someone reached into my head and pulled my thoughts out! The rest of song didn’t really apply as much as the chorus did. Don’t get me wrong I have an A.M.A.Z.I.N.G support system in my family and friends but that doesn’t mean I don’t doubt myself. You take on roles in your life and it can be scary to fail at that role or feel the need to step of it for a little while and maybe not be the strong one or not be the super organized one. We fall into our routines and if those are changed for some reason it can make you vulnerable to doubt yourself and what you think others perceive of yourself. I know for me it’s a sense of pride. I want to be the strong one and the one that does it all, but the reality is I have flaws and I have breakdowns – as everyone should. But it’s that nagging little voice inside my head that says don’t let anyone down, don’t show your weakness they would see you the same way.

I am not saying I need you to reaffirm that you love me no matter what. Truthfully, deep down I know that and I am blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. For me it’s a comfort to be able to hear this song and know I am not along in these thoughts.

~E

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