I will remember you……………………

If remember about a year ago I crossed an item of my list – bid in an oral auction. Well I did more than bid last year I won! It was kind of a big oops! I only wanted to bid – not win. We did get a fun filled afternoon at the Pasta House test kitchen in return though!

As we drove to the St. James auction this year I promised I would keep my paddle in check. But then I saw him- the cutest little golden lab puppy and I fell in love. After some discussion we decided we would bid on him but only up to 500.00. Sounded fair to me and in my heart I knew he would never be going  home with us. The puppy last year went for over 1,000 and was not very cute. This little guy was so cute and so little I knew he would be wanted by many.

Jake and I bid on several silent auction items before the oral auction began just so we would go home with something.  Then the oral auction began and about 3 items in came the puppy. We opened the bidding – expecting that was the last time we would get to raise our paddle. We got outbid and then the bidding continued to 500.00. Jake looked at me and raised his paddle. We were the high bidders! Both of us were totally expecting to hear the auctioneer say 550.00 or 600.00 to the person in the back but all we heard were crickets!!! Really is this happening again?!

So we won the puppy! And right away he was in my lap asleep. My heart was beating through my chest – had we really taken this step. Were we now responsible for another living thing that was only 7 weeks old??? Jake and I had talked about getting a dog but had never really discussed a puppy so it wasn’t totally out of the blue that we did this but it was still not how we had planned. Luckily he came with a crate and some food and a leash because we had nothing.

Since we had discussed getting a dog we had discussed names and had settled on Rufus. I think we were both on cloud nine that night (the free drinks probably helped that too). I can’t remember any of the other auction items that night. As we walked out of the auction with our little Rufus I was a ball of nerves. He sat on my lap in the car and cried the whole way home. He was not a fan of the car, he did throw up a little but we were almost home.

That night he slept in the crate next to our bed. I didn’t sleep a wink, any time I heard move or cry I wondered if he was OK. We also were up several times that night taking him out to potty. The next day we took him to PetsMart with us to get him some toys, a bed and a larger crate for when were at work. We ended getting a large gated play area that took up most of our kitchen. After we set it up we set Rufus in it and he looked at us and started crying.  We both looked at each and instantly thought we were the wrong fit for the little guy.

He needed to be with a family that could be home with home and they could give him the attention that we with our busy lives could not. Besides that fact that were both exhausted from getting up with him and playing him; we had this sick feeling in our stomachs that something wasn’t right. Wasn’t this supposed to be fun? We were so torn, this little guy stole our hearts but at the same time we felt we were being unfair to him. I put in ad on Craigslist on Monday morning and by Wednesday afternoon he had found a home with a family that lived on a farm and was ready to take him on. I know how cliche does it sound that I sent him to live on a farm but the girl that got was giving him as a gift for Father’s Day and drove from Hardin, IL to get him. It was so hard to see him go but I knew that it was right for him. He would have been couped up in our house most of the time and he needed land to run and big family to give him tons of love.

Not only was hard to say good-bye but it made me feel very inadequate as a caregiver. I didn’t last more than a week with another life in my hands. As I mentioned before Jake and I talk about our imaginary children and if we want to take that on. But if I can’t care for a four legged animal how I can I care for human? I know puppies are different from humans but the concept is somewhat the same- I am sure my parent friends are smirking at this comment. This situation has really put my motherly instincts into question. I thought I was ready for the everyday duties of having a dog but after a few days there were times I felt mad at Rufus because I wanted to do was lay in bed and read but couldn’t because he wanted to play or needed to go out.  Some might say that the fact that we did give him up, seeing that he was not the right fit for us instead of trying to make it work while making him miserable is the mature thing to do. While that is the case it also shows that we are just to selfish right now to give up our time and our sleep.

Truthfully, if I could go back in time and do it all over again I wouldn’t change a thing. Rufus while a lot of work bought  a lot of joy into our home. I loved that feeling of coming home and seeing  his little face look up at me like your home lets play. When I held him in my arms he always went kind of limp like he was comfortable there. I miss the little guy but I know we made the right decision. He has made his new family very happy and living the life that he should. I will always remember him and the time we had together – cause did I mention I was a single dog parent for 2 and half days while Jake was out of town.

Below are a few pictures of our little Rufuster.

A few pictures right after we won him……….

First night home – getting in a little play time before bed.
It’s exhausting being auctioned off!!!!
My mom and Rufus playing. Rufus meeting Ry dog
First morning feeding and Rufus meets baby Emmy.

Look how little he looks in front of our house!                 First trip to PetsMart.

Just hanging out in the backyard!!

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